what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
