Cold hands, warm shart.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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