Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
