where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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