The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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