ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
