last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
