so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
