So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
