Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
