Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i dont even know how to be here
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize