I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
