I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
