I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
