I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
