just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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