It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
