Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
