she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
