I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
