What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
