some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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