I wish I could teleport
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
