Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
