So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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