Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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