HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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