My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
