I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
