You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
