you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
