I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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