He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
