I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
