I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you didnt know i had herpes?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
