Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
