Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
