Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
