Jerry, you need to find god
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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