thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
