Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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