every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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