my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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