meet me or not, i'm out of control
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
