Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
