note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
