My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
