I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
