I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
