He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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