So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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