hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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