Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize